A tiiiiny bit tempted to make daily motivational pictures of Gordon Ramsay yelling nice things at you guys.

Anonymous: how much followers do you have and would you be interesed in selling your account?

1,150 on my main, roughly 80,000 on here and no I wouldn’t.

Anonymous: Hey, sorry for not messaging earlier but I'm really happy to see you're back. And now, whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed I'll just imagine Gordon Ramsey yelling at me for being too damn fine.

Heck yeah.

sistematik-ihes: I just saw your response to Anon, regarding suicide. Can I, um, try to commiserate and leave you with something? Suffice it to say that I've been diagnosed with depression and others and was put on 51/50 for trying to end it. In a way, you're in a good position to be trying to help him/her and run this blog. As someone in the process of gaining ground over the demons, you speak from a very real, empathetic experience. Pithy words, these are, but keep fighting the good fight!

I’ve never been good at replying to nice asks especially long ones, so I’m just gonna.

*quietly mumbles thank-you and fist bumps you*

I’m literally the least professional advice/help blog on Tumblr, possibly on the entirety of the Internet.

Here, have a transparent Gordon Ramsay to make up for it. Pretend he’s yelling at you for being too cool/smart/cute/rad (because you are!), or that your pasta sucks and is undercooked.

image

Anonymous: How do you deal with your anxiety?

Sitting in my room and crying?

Sucking it up and facing it. Not all the time, sometimes I’m like haha yeah nope gonna sit in my room nope nope screw that screw socializing I look shit today. But, when I do, I just face it. 

In terms of stopping myself from having a breakdown or panic attack in public, I listen to music, keep my head down for the most part, play games on my phone, scribble on some paper/a notebook. Little things, little distractions.

Anonymous: I'm sorry. So many people have tried to help me but I just can't do it anymore

TW: Suicide, self-harm, death, rambling.

I’m assuming this is supposed to mean you’re going to try commit suicide, if that’s the case listen up yo.

First off, I know you’re in a bad place right now but this is really a message for all, if you’re feeling suicidal and what not, it’s really not okay to send these kind of messages. I know it’s kinda all you can really think to say since you don’t really want to say ‘I don’t know what to do’ and ask for help, since in this case you’re pretty much saying, I’m done. 

Some people react fine to it, but as someone who is still suicidal and suffers from major depression extremely, receiving messages specifically like this can be pretty hard sometimes. I’m not mad or trying to scold you, I just didn’t wanna let that slip because it’s something I feel strongly about.

Anyway…

I’m in the same shitty boat you’re in. Everyone tries to help me, or has tried, and I’m still the same depressed, suicidal mess that I was before I started ‘recovery’ and before people really started trying to ‘help me’. 

I still want to commit suicide almost nightly, I’m always completely exhausted and distressed. I’ve tried to commit suicide 3 times, most recently was late last year if I remember right. I still self-harm every couple of months (as it’s always been for me) and my social life is null. 

I’m bad at keeping friends, I’m an incredibly selfish, sometimes emotionally and mentally abusive person. I’m clingy and gross, just generally a pretty bad person in my eyes.

Shockingly, I’m still alive. I’m not gonna preach to you, ‘It Gets Better’ because the truth is, it doesn’t get better. You make it better. I don’t wanna go on an anti-It Gets Better rant but the truth is, if you sit around waiting for help to come and someone or something to save you, it’s not going to get better. You’ve got to be the one to save yourself, even if people and things around you are your crutches, you still need to be the one to keep yourself standing.

Coming from someone who still contemplates offing myself, my advice might be difficult to take in because hey, I’m suicidal too, so why should you listen to me! I haven’t recovered! But just, try. 

Committing suicide isn’t easy in any shape way or form. It just isn’t. 

I don’t know if you’ve ever lost someone to suicide specifically, but just sit back and close your eyes for a second. Think about the person you love most, think about what if they were gone tomorrow because they were in your shoes and just couldn’t take the pain anymore.

Suicide isn’t selfish or cowardice, it takes a lot of guts to finally do it, but despite that it ruins the people around you. Your friends, your family. You sound like you’ve got some people in your life you might value, people that’ve tried to help you. This isn’t to make you feel guilty, trust me, I know it might seem like it or make you feel guilty, but it’s not. It’s just the truth, if you kill yourself, your friends and family will spend the rest of their lives, even if not as often later on, wondering what they could’ve done, whether it was their fault, why you did it.

Back to you, though. Shake off the guilt I just shat all over you. 

I can’t stop you from committing suicide, I’m not going to call the cops or anything like that to try and track you down and ‘save you’. But you have to make the decision not to do it, even if just for tonight.

Find things that make you happy, find things that distract you. Take care of yourself and save yourself.

(inb4 ‘I didn’t mean I was going to commit suicide’ shit. Shit. I fucked up. I’m trash.)

Anonymous: hi! for my english essay that i'm writing, i have to interview a person. i was wondering if you could tell me how anxiety affects you (if it does) thank you so much!

Sorry for the delayed reply, I was intending to reply to this straight away but I got hella distracted.

Anxiety affects me all the time, whether I’m at home about to go out or just chilling on ye old interwebs. I’m a lot better with my anxiety than I was a few years ago, after therapy and tons of support groups and regular outings with professionals. My anxiety still affects me significantly though,  especially now that I’m out of therapy and am back to my old routine of… Well, staying up late playing video games. 

I’m back at the point where I can leave the house, after maybe 30 minutes of trying to make myself look ‘okay’ at the very least. I got a haircut a month or two ago and I still hate it, so I’m constantly trying to make it look decent otherwise I wont go out. 

Eventually I can leave the house if I feel I like ‘okay’ and I can run errands like picking up my medication and stuff, unless I see another teenager or heaven forbid a group of teenagers. Adults don’t scare me too much, nor little kids n babies, but teenagers nope nope nope

An example I guess was the other day I went to pick up my dad’s medication from the pharmacy down the road and I was also going to go pick up some stuff from the dairy but I saw a group of teenagers and darted into the pharmacy and turned tail and went straight home once I got the prescription ‘cos screeeeew that

I guess another TL;DR, my anxiety restricts me from doing normal people things, like most people with anxiety. I can handle small tasks depending on my mood and what not, but I’m very uncomfortable especially/mainly around teenagers/young adults. 

I’m not good at writing this kinda thing, sorry friend. Hope this helped/was useful. ;_;

cheeks-seems-nice: How can I know if I have social anxiety? I think I have, but I am not sure.

The best advice I can give for ‘knowing if you have social anxiety disorder' is to see a professional (therapist, psychiatrist, etc) for a diagnosis. 

This can be vital to recovery depending on your situation/how you deal with things. Seeing a professional can grant you access to medication to help your recovery IF they think/you think you need medication. 

Personally, seeing professionals helped me a billion. I’m out of therapy and such now and I’m back to where I was before I started therapy. Maybe not as bad, but still. 

TL;DR if you want an official diagnosis and professional help, see a professional.

Other than that, if you aren’t looking for an official medical diagnosis and you just want to know if what you’re feeling is ‘social anxiety’ or anxiety in social situations then… Well, you can determine that yourself.

The question is pretty simple, ‘am I anxious in social situations?’ just think about when you’re out in public, do you have feelings like ‘everyone is looking at me and laughing’ or general paranoia? Then you’re probably feeling ‘social anxiety’ but this doesn’t necessarily mean you have a disorder, please keep that in mind. :~)

Sorry for the rambles. Best of luck!

Anonymous: what happened to all you blog posts?

It is a mystery.